Accountability

There is often reference among every generation that the one following it is so much worse than the one before in terms of manners, education, respect, etc. While in some cases this may be true, it isn’t always fair to categorize people all into one category. I, for instance, do not want to be looked at as a member of Generation X, embracing all of its shortcomings. Instead, I prefer to create my own mistakes and my own faults to make the unique me.

I don’t believe that my parents would ever disagree with the assumption that I am my own person and rarely chose to go the way of the masses just because everyone else is. Those of you reading this blog may tend to disagree since I am in fact writing a blog. I take the position that this really only highlights the fact that while I am very independent, I am no fool and will leverage an opportunity when one presents itself.

After that lengthy disclaimer, I am now going to contradict myself.

While enjoying a recent Rotary luncheon, our group was listening to the men’s basketball coach from the local university talk about his career, the way he picks his teams, how he produces a winning team and what contributes to a losing season. He was interesting, but nothing he had said in the first 10 minutes was exactly groundbreaking.

It was a turn in his presentation when he mentioned a notable change he was seeing in his players – a lack of accountability. This caught my attention as I sometimes think that I am the only one that has noticed this in young people. If you don’t believe that this is missing in a great number of kids today, take a day and substitute for a teacher in your local school and aim for around sixth grade or so.

Despite what we believed were good intentions, too many of us well-meaning parents have raised kids who believe that everything should be handed to them, nothing is ever their fault and there are no consequences for any actions. While we expect to see this in our five-year olds, shouldn’t they have outgrown it by the time they reach college?

There is a common saying in our house: “He made me…” or “She did this and so I…” I would like to be able to say that this is only from our children, but the reality is that everyone of us has fallen into the “It’s not my fault!” trap. Our practiced response? “Who made the choice to behave the way that you behaved?”

If we focus on ensuring that our children never experience the consequences of their choices (both good and bad), how do we expect them to flourish in a world that operates on the assumption of cause and effect? Do you really want your son or daughter incapable of achieving success on their own because you have blocked the impact of their consequences?

Check back as we continue to explore the concept of accountability and the far-reaching impact when we drop the ball.