Friday, January 16, 2009

Please Respect My Time

Most of us have had the experience of waiting in the doctor's office, waiting on hold for the appropriate person or simply waiting in line at the grocery store. While some wait times are inevitable - there is really little you can do about the wait in the grocery store - others are created by someone's choice.

When we wait for long periods of time in the doctor's office, it is because too many people have been scheduled for a given period of time. While certain delays can be unavoidable, is there ever a really good reason to keep someone waiting for nearly an hour each time they visit?

I selected my recent doctor not because he had a wonderful bedside manner or had the highest credentials. I selected him for the simple fact that he showed a sincere respect for my time. Not only is he consistent in only keeping me waiting less than 15 minutes on each visit, he also apologizes for any wait, even if it is minimal.

So my question is this - do we select the companies or individuals with which we do business based on their demonstration - or lack thereof - of a respect of our time?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Why is it so difficult to get people to volunteer?

As someone who has a tendency to take on leadership roles - a nice way of saying that I like to control things - I find one of the most challenging things to do is to get people to volunteer to take on some of the work. Even in a "team" setting, it is still difficult to get people to step up to the plate and take on responsibility. Why is that?

I realize that statistics find that people are more willing to volunteer when they are asked directly. Vary rarely do people like to put themselves out there, even if they believe in the cause. Therefore, we have the common theme - 90% of the work done by 10% of the people.

While this may be the norm, is it really what is good for the overall result? How many ideas are we missing out on because people are too afraid to speak up? Are we missing the big picture because those that do volunteer are too like minded?

I know this is a common theme throughout organizations around the country. And, while it may have little to do with respect on the surface, it actually has much to do with it overall. Consider this - if people within these organizations really respected the time of the leader and the value they contribute, would it be so hard to distribute the work? Let me know what you think.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Mailbox Vandals Provide Conversation Starter


Living out in a rural community, it is not uncommon to see mailboxes that have been smashed by someone with nothing but time on their hands. More than once, we have returned home or woken from a peaceful night to find that someone had decided to practice their bat swing on our box. We don't take it personally, but it is annoying to reshape the box back to its original shape and size - or as close as possible. No sense in buying a new one just to have it smashed again. Something about that bright, shinning box makes it that much more appealing to those who seek to disfigure it.

While such destruction of our property has little impact on my husband or I - as we have accepted it as a part of rural life - the same cannot be said for our daughter. The first time she became aware of a mailbox incident, she was probably only five years old, but it bothered her greatly that someone had done something like that to our box. Granted, she had no attachment to the mailbox, but the fact that it was ours and someone was so careless with it had a significant impact on her.

This incident made it clear to me that my daughter had developed a sense of respect for property. We had always tried to demonstrate that and discussed where appropriate, but in reality, parents are never sure anything sticks until it is put to the test. At that moment, we knew that she had understood how important it is to respect the property of others, especially if you expect the same in return. This is likely the reason why she was so upset - she knew none of us had attacked another mailbox.

An interesting website: More4Kids.info provided a quality piece on teaching children how to respect property by starting with the Golden Rule. The thing I liked best about this article was that it highlighted how important it is that we practice what we preach. It is much harder for children to develop bad habits if they don't have the experience first hand.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Respect is Consistency

Respect is certainly a concept that is used in a variety of different ways and people have different expectations, depending upon their gender, age, culture, etc. What tends to be a common theme among Americans is that we often want to fall back on respect when it is convenient, but not as a rule.

An Associated Content post examined the art of earning respect as a leader. The author of this piece categorized earning respect according to the segment of the audience. If you are seeking respect from children, you should do A, if you are seeking respect from adults, you should do B.

While this piece is very interesting, if we demonstrate and command respect as an everyday part of our lives, does the audience really make any difference? I wonder instead if the author of this piece is confusing respect with adoration or emulation. Convincing a group of people to follow you is the not the same thing as earning their respect.

Instead, respect is born of consistency and solid character. If a person ensures that their attitude, demands, actions and conversations are controlled and consistent, they are much more likely to earn respect with little effort. Respect is rarely something that has to be demanded, but can be easily earned.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Dads: Talk to Your Kids

It is interesting to notice the role that dads will play in the lives of their children. Often, these men will be the ones who demonstrate how to rough house or they will introduce their son or daughter to the world of sports. Dad may be the one who leads the child to a specific career or teaches him or her how to cook.

While the individual roles dads can play tend to vary from one family to the next, one important element should enter into the relationship between the father and the child - communication. While I realize this tends to take the man out of his comfort zone, it really only has to feel strange until it becomes habit. And, this habit can be a key driver that will determine the ultimate relationship between father and child. It will also determine how that child views the world and their place in it.

For a long time our society has devalued the role that men play in the lives of their children. Sure, there are men who make lousy fathers, but that is a direct result of their character, not their gender. Overall, men play a vital role in the development of a child and communication is an important part of their interaction. Start the regular practice of conversations with children at a young age and when they become older, it won't be as awkward. In doing so, the child will grow to respect the father as a result of honoring his position in his or her life and the implications will be far-reaching.