A Real Housewife?

OK, so I don't have cable or satellite television. It isn't a money issue - at least not one that you would assume. Yes, we can afford it. No, we don't want to pay for it. So, there are a number of cable or satellite shows that I have never seen. One of these is I believe is called, "Real Housewives"? I may have the title wrong, but I learned that I wasn't really missing much.

Yes, I am a writer by profession and I bring home the bacon right along with my husband. But, I also take care of the house and the kids - in a way, a Housewife.

In my world, I am trying to keep track such things as the kids, if we have enough toilet paper, what I will make for supper, where we are supposed to be and when, if the bills are paid, etc. I think you get the point. I can't remember the last time I got my hair cut and unless I mark it on the calendar, I can't remember when my period should start.

I don't have time for hair extensions, breast enhancements, botox or anything else that will make me more "something" to my husband or anyone else. And, in reality, most of the people I know don't either. Amazingly enough, my husband doesn't mind that I look my age.

Thanks, Bravo! for letting the world know just how fake real American housewives really aren't!

The Use of Time

I talked with a friend today who was telling me the amount of free time she did not have to spend with her kids. When I asked her what the problem was, she listed off all the activities that he children were involved with and how much time each of these activities took.

Now, this mom is only a mother of two children, but she listed 8 activities. 8! How many of these activities did her kids actually asked to be involved in? Not one of them.

I don't completely blame her as it is important for kids to be involved in important activities instead of sitting around all day, every day. On the other hand, what 's wrong with a lazy summer day once in a while? When will your child ever have that opportunity once he or she is grown?

So, my friend, eliminate some of those activities and spend time getting to know your kids!

Long Hair Boys: Is it Really Worth the Debate?

There has been an interesting phenomenon in our culture surrounding the debate between those who believe that boys should be able to have long hair and those that do not. What is most interesting is that this debate has been going on for generations, often with the same discussions taking place.

With our teenage son, we have had this same debate. Like his mother, his hair is very thick and has nice body to it. What this means for his locks is that it can get rather unruly. His father, being very traditional, believes that the long hair is unnecessary and should be cut – often forgetting the length of his own hair when we first met.

In this particular issue, it is easy for us as parents to worry what other people will think of us or our parenting when we allow our son to wear his hair in this way. What we really should be concerned with is whether or not other people are viewing our son as the great kid he is, or immediately passing judgment based on the way he wears his hair.

The length of hair on boys has been a significant topic in Texas this past year. Several news sites and blogs have touched on the issue. One news site discussed the obstacles four boys were facing at school. It seems the length of their hair was in question as a violation of the school’s dress code. Another site offered support from parents who believed these boys should be able to wear their hair any way they desired.

Probably the biggest challenge here is determining what the battle really is. Are we battling with our kids to get them to look and dress they way we want? Are we trying to get our kids to conform to social norms with no real basis? Or, are we trying to protect them from the judgments of others?

As a teen, our son is navigating the unstable waters of adolescence and in his attempt to find his place in this world, he is exploring different aspects of who he wants to be. Right now, he wants to be a teenager who wears his hair long and out of control while he plays in a band with his friends. While it might mean that he may lose respect from others who will quickly judge him on his looks, it could also mean that he respects himself for staying true to who he believes he is.

Respect versus Fear

When you look around at society today, do you ever wonder why respect has disappeared? I have a theory. I believe that for years, people believed that respect was synonymous with fear. As laws emerged protecting kids and individuals from aggression from those bigger than themselves, fear relinquished and respect along with it.

An entry on the EQI website explored the origins of respect. Throughout the animal kingdom there is a distinct difference between fear and respect. This piece highlights how respect can mean the difference between life and death. In very early generations, where there was not enough food or shelter for everyone in a village or community, those without respect were the first to die.

In saying this, in no way am I suggesting that we go back to this way of life. Instead, it is important to understand the origins of respect and the impact that this makes on society. However, the point is very much the same – throughout the world where respect is lacking, people do die. Fortunately, this is not necessarily a way of life in the U.S., but it is how people can get hurt.

A lack of respect in our community is not just obvious in our kids. It is obvious in the way we treat each other on the roads, in a busy store or even in print. To bring this respect back to our community and implement it into our interactions, it is not fear that is needed, but honor instead.

Check back as we continue to examine fear versus respect.